Our past experiences have a way of turning up within us when we least expect it. As human beings, we have the ability to replay every single experience in our lives, over and over again to the point that we become prisoners to our memories. But notice, that this is more true with the negative experiences as opposed to the positive experiences in our lives. This is because, we tend to, as human beings, regress into the ‘poor me,’ attitude where we feel victimised about the negative experiences we have endured. We rally for love and attention from our family and friends, by sharing with them how shamefully we have been treated or how we have been victimised by someone in our lives. Holding on to these experiences then almost invariably creates a vortex in which we are sucked into the mental paradigm where we learn to shun away, distrust and live with high walls around us.
Letting go is not necessarily about something from the past. It could also refer to a certain circumstance or situation that is happening to you right now. It could be about your non-sympathetic boss, who expects high performance from you, when you’re having a lousy day; or your partner who seems to lash out whatever s/he likes without any care for your feelings; or your over-needing family who demands your attention all the time. Whatever the situation may be, the tendency to hang onto the words or actions of these people in our lives is so great, that it piles up onto the already brim-full experiences that we have cast away into our subconscious. Unconsciously, we react and retaliate in ways that harm ourselves as well as others around us.
We weren’t born to be other people’s dump-site, neither were we born to harbour emotions that clog our possibilities of living this life as we were meant to. As children, we dealt with life with a skip in our heels and a forgiving heart. We cajoled life with banter and laughter that echoed in the distant fields, having no care of the rumble in our stomachs or the fall of dusk – all we did was, live in the moment and forgive easily; discarding everything that weighed us down.
The art of letting go resides in the heart of the child within us – that very Being, who understood the wisdom of the Universe, without even spending a day learning about it. Be the child you once were and repossess your burning desire to unshackle the chains that bind you to your thoughts and the deeds of others.
Move on and find your bliss.
HOW TO LET GO
> DECIDE TO MOVE ON
+Appreciating whether or not to dwell in your hurt or pain is empowering. Let go of what you thought should happen and live in what is happening.
+Review the entire sequence of events in one sentence.
Instead of reflecting and going over the hurt over and over again, keep it simple and summarize it in one sentence. Pay little attention to the words or actions that might have been used in the sequence of events.
> FORGIVE UNCONDITIONALLY
+Accept what is, let go of what was and have faith in what will be. The more you forgive, the more you are able to go on baggage-free – this is to spare you the agony of carrying too much within you. Offer your forgiveness with an open heart.
> BE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOURSELF
Instead of focusing on what the other person is doing to you, focus on yourself and how you’re handling the situation. When you focus on the other person, you have given your power away.
>LOL – LAUGH OUT LOUD
Take some time to reflect on the sequence of events and readily laugh about it. Send it out of your Being freely. Set it free completely. This may be hard to do – but see the good in everything. Remember, these experiences are sent to you to teach you something. Learn and set it free.
>DON’T BE A VICTIM
When you carry the pain of your past, you’ve acknowledged yourself as a victim. You believe that something grave was done onto you, and that, none of these hurts would have mattered if things were done differently. The most important thing to remember is, the past is over and suffering is optional.
> DON’T TAKE IT PERSONALLY
Often we misconstrue peoples’ messages and intent because we think they are out to get us or outwit us one way or the other. Whatever the situation may be, learn to distinguish the actions of others against the way you think. If you thought from an infinite ocean of possibilities, assessing you would be a gargantuan task and a feat many would not have the stamina for. If you operated from a limited mind, then, you allow for the floodgates of your life to annihilate the boundaries of your existence.
>TRUST IN THE PROCESS
Everything is a process. If you have begun to put in the effort o setting aside what serves you no more, trust that it is all coming together to make it a wholesome experience for you. Give it some time to integrate so that it can become the language of your life.
>ALLOW, ALLOW, ALLOW
Give yourself the permission to be, even if it means to sink into your heartache, as this means you are taking ownership of how you feel, rather than, sweeping your feelings under the carpet to be dealt with another day. Allow yourself the privilege to be, no matter how the world sees you. Allow yourself the gift of being your authentic Self, without the frills and the external validations.
Come home to yourself – make it a single journey to discovering everything there is about you and free yourself from the need to see things through the eyes of others; after all, this is YOUR life: live it, like it’s the last thing you do.
SUJATA NANDY WORLD GURUKUL